C.O.P.S. Marvin and LadyHarp Saves the Day!


Bulletproof and LongArm

Bulletproof and LongArm

…a clearing of a throat sounded which prompt Bulletproof to look up to see what appears to be a professional musician who’s really Berserko in disguise.
Berserko: “Uh, nifty case ya got there, cop. Mind if I see it?”
Bulletproof: “Sorry, citizen. No one handles the case but me. I’m going to bring it inside Empire Harps and use what I have inside to purchase a harp to make music on while I’m off duty from police work.”
Berserko: “Oh, so you wanna play on one of those string-a-ma-jigs eh, cop?”
Bulletproof: “Yes, sir.”
Berserko: “Cool! As a matter of fact I do have a string-a-ma-jig myself. Get a load of this string-a-ma-jig.”
Bulletproof: “Mmm, such a fine violin you have there, sir.”
Berserko: “Yeah! And I’m gonna play it in a concert soon. Say. Why don’t I use it to carry a tune for yer listening pleasure?”
Bulletproof: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to listen to your repertoire. I must go in and get my harp.”
Berserko: “Aw come on. It’ll only take a minute. I have a real short note-of-a-song I wanna play for you.”
Bulletproof: “Well. all right. You can play me one song. Then I’ll go in and get my harp.”
Berserko: “Oh boy!”
Bulletproof: “But there is one problem I’m starting to notice here.. where’s the bow?”
Berserko: “The bow?”
Bulletproof: “You know. *gesturing playing the violin* The bow to the violin. Where is it?”
Berserko: “Oh! That bow. Well it’s uhh… *looking into the pockets of his suit* it’s uhh…”
Bulletproof: “Seriously, sir. You can’t really play the violin without the bow.”
Berserko: “Oh yes, I can. All I have to is just take my finger and–”
Instantly, Berserko thrusts his hand forward to nab Bulletproof’s case.
Bulletproof: “HEY!”
Berserko: “Take what I need to get a new bow! *runs towards the bank with the case and the violin* HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!”
Bulletproof: “Stop! Come back here with my case!!”
Berserko: “Tough luck, copper. This here’s case is mine along with the cash inside and *taking off his wig* the bank’s treasure trove, too!”
Bulletproof: “Berserko!
Bulletproof immediately takes out his gun and starts chasing Berserko.
Bulletproof: “Halt where you are and surrender, Berserko! You’re under arrest!!”
Berserko: “Try to make me, copper! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.”
Inside Empire harps,
Healy: “Hey Dad! Look! He’s back and he’s got that violin still.”
Carl: “He also got what appears to be the case Bulletproof owns with the money inside he needs to buy your harp, Healy.”
Marvin: “He won’t get away this time. Come on, boys! Let get out there and help the C.O.P.S. Team Leader bag that scum, get his cash back, and get that violin back where it belongs.”
Carl and Healy: “IT’S CRIME FIGHTING TIME!!”
Instantly, the 3 men raced to the store office and arm themselves with bows and arrows they used to thwart the first robbery attempt on the bank.
Meanwhile, Bulletproof chased Berserko into the bank where he saw Dr. BadVibes and 4 of his instant robot Burgloids (just add water) holding up the bank as the vac-mobile sucks up all of the cash from the safe.
BadVibes: “Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee Ha Ha Ha Ha! Within minutes the safe will be clean of all of its filthy money. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”
Banker: “P-P-Please don’t shoot.”
Burgloid: *pointing a gun at him* We won’t as long as you hand over yer wallet.
Burgloid #2: “Drop yer cash n’ jewels in the bag or else we’ll blow yer brains out!”
Banker: “Here.”
Burgloid #3: “Thanks for yer generous offer. Now gimme more!”
Burgloid #4: *pointing his gun at a teller* “And a nice $250,000 wad’ll do me real good. Hee Hee Hee Heh Heh Heh.”
Bulletproof: *flashes his badge* Hold it right there, you crooks! Drop your weapons and raise your hands straight up! You are all under arrest!
BadVibes: “That’s what you think, Bulletproof. Burgloids, attack! Dismantle that walkin’ pile of flesh and steel!”
Burgloids: “Youse can’t get us, flatfoot!”
The Burgloids prepares to open fire.
Bulletproof: *to the citizens* “DOWN ON THE FLOOR, ALL OF YOU! THEY’RE ABOUT TO OPEN FIRE!”
At once, the citizens got down on the floor just as the Burgloids open fire on Bulletproof who at once opens his coat and shirt to reveal his cyberchest that bounce the bullets off of him like ping pong balls. Then he returns fire with his own arsenal. But the Burgloids remain unfazed even when Bulletproof flung explosive disks at them
Burgloid #2: “No use, cop. We’re bulletproof, shockproof, and blast proof, too.”
Burgloid #4: “But, youse not laser proof! Prepare to be annihilated, pitiful keystone creep!” *opens laser fire*
Bulletproof: “Uh oh! Yeow!”
Quickly Bulletproof desperately dodges the laser blasts as Berserko climbs to the top of the vac-mobile, puts his wig back on, and stages a mock violin concert by playing the violin with a make-believe bow.
Berserko: *swaying while “playing” the violin* “Eeeeee eeee eeeeee eeee eee eeeeeeeee eeeeee eeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeeeeee eeeeeeeee eeee eeeeeee.”
BadVibes: “Berserko, what on Earth are you doing?”
Berserko: “Eeeeeee. Doin’ a gig to the tune of that cop gettin’ zapped. Eeeee eeeeee eeeeeeee”
BadVibes: “But Berserko? How can you do a violin gig when you don’t seem to have a bow to play the violin?”
Berserko: “Simple. All I gotta do is twang on the strings and..”
Too late. Berserko twanged the pyrotechnic wires on the violin and…
FOOM!!! The violin burst into flames.
Berserko: “YEOWW!” *throws the violin to the floor*
KABOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!! An explosion rips through the violin, destroying it. Sparks and burning debris from the violin splattered all over the room, sending the area of the bank up in flames.
Berserko frantically stampd out the flames, coming from the sparks, burning all over his costume with his wig.
BadVibes: *dodging the sparks and the burning debris* “BERSERKO, YOU IDIOTIC BUFFOON!!! AAAA!!!”
Burgloids: “FIRE, FIRE, FIRE! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!” *runs away from the flames*
BadVibes: “GAH! Lemme outta of here! I hope this teleporter works!”
Instantly, BadVibes gets out his teleportation device and presses the button. Within a second he’s gone.
Citizens: *racing towards the door* “RUN!! – AIEEE!!! – YEAAHHHHH! – EEEEEEEE!!! – GANGWAY! – LEMME OUTTA HERE!”
As the people evacuate the building, outside, Marvin, Carl, and Healy, armed with bows and arrows and ready for battle, raced out of the store only to find the bank in trouble and people running out of it.
Healy: “Dad, the bank’s on fire and there’s people running from it!”
Marvin: “Filthy scumbag! He’ll pay for this! Quick, you two! Help get those innocent people outta there! I’ll get out the extinguisher and fight off the flames!”
Carl and Healy: “Right!”
Guinness Harp Trademark. As Carl and Healy race forward to help the people, Marvin races to the store’s practice room, nabs LadyHarp, and brought her outside to a safe distance. Then, he kneels down, tilts the harp back, and plays a melody that activates a garage door behind the Empire Harps building that opens to reveal another bizarre Guinness harp shaped vehicle (just like on the left) that serves as a fire engine where the framework resembles a fire hose with the spray cannon pointing towards the front. The middle of the framework is solid on the outside, hollow on the inside. All the better to hold many gallons of water needed to douse the flames consuming main room at the bank. Then Marvin plays another melody to activate the harp-shaped fire engine and direct it to the bank. Then another strike of the chord and the engine let out a powerful spray that begins to extinguish the flames.
Way up above the skies is Buttons McBoomBoom, Ms. Demeanor, Rock Krusher, and Buzzbomb soaring down to see the fiery commotion going on at The Bank of the People; their worst fears now realized.
Buzzbomb: [Oh no! We’re too late! The violin has gotta be completely gone up in a big puff of smoke by now!]
Ms. Demeanor: *enraged* “I outta strangle that stupid moron with these violin strings for this!!”
Buttons: “This is all Berserko’s fault!”
Krusher: You said it! The boss ain’t gonna be happy when he finds out that his precious violin is– ”
Ms Demeanor: *sees the harp vehicle pulling out in front of them* “LOOK OUT!”
CRASH! The crooks collided with the vehicle, knocking it and themselves to the ground.
Marvin: *stops playing* “Gasp!”
Crooks: *dazed* “Awwwwww Oooohhhhh. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
Krusher: “W-What happened?”
Marvin: “Correction, Jailbird! You mean, ‘What will happen to you in an Empire minute,’ creeps!”
With that, Marvin puts his hands back on LadyHarp and plays a very strange mesmerizing melody that seize control over the minds of the crooks. Instantly, Buttons McBoomBoom, Buzzbomb, Rock Krusher, and Ms. Demeanor clutched their heads as they begin to feel the mesmerizing power of the harp music!
Buzzbomb: *sparks flying from his glass dome* [Hey what the?]
Buttons: “W-what’s happening..to our…heads?”
Ms. Demeanor: “Some strange harp music…is…controlling…our….minds.. Can’t…resist!!!”
A moment later, the crooks’ pupils disappear from their eyes and become spellbound. At the commands of Marvin and LadyHarp, the bad guys stood up, got down from the vehicle, and went forward to listen as LadyHarp and Marvin sings this song,
“You scums of the earth whose heart is overcome with greed,
Put your sins aside and do this helpful deed.
Make haste, Jailbird and Lady in red,
Do as I command to help the Fed!
To save the souls of fortune and fame,
stand up the vehicle and face it to the flame!”
Obviously Marvin knew the strength of Rock Krusher and Ms. Demeanor very well after seeing past footage of their amazing feats of strength being performed on walls, giant safes, big rigs, etc. That’s why he orders them to stand the fire vehicle up and face it towards the flames. Upon Marvin’s command, Ms Demeanor and Rock Krusher toss aside their air speeders and carefully stood the vehicle up and aimed it toward the flames. Then sings Marvin and LadyHarp to Buttons and Buzzbomb,
Robot, roll over to the controls! Operate from where you’ll stand!
Trigger Happy Man, follow him! Aim and fire at my command!
Obediently, Buttons and Buzzbomb walk to the vehicle and position themselves at the controls. Buttons aim the hose at the flaming building.
Meanwhile, Carl and Healy helps Bulletproof get the last remaining innocent bystander out of the flaming building and into safety before going in to get the last person out who is none other than Berserko who is feverishly fighting the flames with his burnt-up wig*
Carl: “Hang in there, Berserko! We’ll save you!”
Grabbing a fire extinguisher next to the emergency exit, Bulletproof prepares to douse the flames surrounding Berserko.
Bulletproof is about to press the knob to activate the extinguisher.
Bulletproof: “Hold still, Berserko. I’m shutting the extinguisher on!”
Bulletproof: “Hey!”
A huge spray of water began gushing out in huge torrents through the entrance of the bank, dousing all the flames.
Bulletproof: “Who’s spraying water around here?”
Carl: “Look! It’s dad and LadyHarp.”
Healy: “And it looks like they’ve got some unlikely help coming from some brainwashed crooks.”
Sure enough. It’s Marvin and LadyHarp controlling a ragtag team of mesmerizing crooks who at Marvin and LadyHarp’s command operated the harp shaped fire engine, using it put out all the flames in the bank, saving it from further destruction. Then, when all the flames is completely put out for sure. Marvin and LadyHarp orders McBoomBoom and Buzzbomb to shut off the hose. Then sings Marvin and LadyHarp,
“You’ve all done well. You’ve saved the day.
Now march off to the C.O.P.S precinct without delay.
Turn yourselves in and serve your time
and regret you have turned to a life of crime!”
The Mesmerizing Crooks: “By your command, Dear Masters of the Harp.
With that, Buttons McBoomBoom, Rock Krusher, Buzzbomb, and Ms. Demeanor turn around and march in formation to the 647th Precinct, where after being briefed by Bulletproof about what happened at the bank and who’s coming their way, the C.O.P.S. team eagerly seize the crooks, slap the cuffs on them, and brought them all into custody.
Berserko: *sliding down the vac-mobile bag, relived from the fire* “Aaaahhhhh Heaven!”
Carl: “Not quite.”
Berserko: “Huh?”
Healy: “Where you’re going, it may not be Heaven, but at least it’s better than that other place where you won’t find any relief from the fire down below.”
Bulletproof: “Where’s the violin and the case I need to purchase my harp?”
Berserko: “Uhh” *picks up what’s left of the violin made up of the scroll, the neck, and the peg box*
Carl: “Oh no.”
Bulletproof: “That was a $15,000,000 violin!”
Berserko: “So?”
Bulletproof: “So it means another charge will be added to your long list of charges along with stealing the violin, attempted bank robbery, and destruction of property.”
Berserko: “And assaulting a cop!” *steps on Carl’s foot*
Carl: “Yeoooooowwwwww!!!” *hoping around while clutching his foot*
Healy: “That’s it, Berserko! Your fiddlin’ days are over!”
Berserko: “Wrong, cop!” *pointing his gun at Healy* “It’s actually your law enforcement days that are– ”
POW! Bulletproof punches Berserko to the floor, knocking him out cold. Then he stoops down to seize his gun and slap the cuffs on him to place Berserko under arrest.
Healy: “Great move, sir.”
Bulletproof: “Thanks. But I’m not very happy to know that the multi-million dollar violin is destroyed.”
Carl: “But luckily not your money case. Here it is. I found it on the floor next to me while I was embracing my sore foot.”
Bulletproof: *receiving the case* “It’s intact. Thanks, Carl. Glad to know that my case is fireproof even though I wish it was the same as the violin.”
Carl: “So do I. But at least we have the case and the money needed to pay off your harp inside.”
Bulletproof: “I’ll open it.”
Taking a key from his trench coat, Bulletproof unlock the case and opens it to reveal the $25,000 in warm harp cash.
Bulletproof: “Here, Healy. Take the money and use it to fill the world with the harmonious sounds of your harp music.”
Healy: “Thanks a million, Bulletproof! You bet I will. And you can go take LadyHarp and make her the official mascot of C.O.P.S. She’s all yours. Now let’s get that punk out of here and haul his sorry keister to prison.”
As Healy took the money and walk out of the bank, Carl and Bulletproof force Berserko off the floor and walk him out of the bank, across the street and right into the arms of Marvin who then grabs him and throws him into the harp shaped police vehicle to be hauled away to prison. And it is here that Bulletproof now realizes just who Mr. Erard really is Mr. Erard and his 2 assistants are none other than Marvin Sebastian Erard and his sons Carl Pratt Erard and Healy Lyons Erard, volunteer police officers for the Salt Lake City Police Department turned freelance and independent policemen and firefighters who are proud owners of the awesome harp-shaped police and fire vehicles, the Empire Harps store, and the men responsible for thwarting the first bank robbery attempt short awhile back.
This story concludes next post.


Sherry Konkus

Sherry Konkus lives in Owosso, MI. She is the proud owner of the Camac Athena EX Concert Grand Harp named "Grover" and Camac Mademoiselle named "Ernie." She's also the proud author of The Punisher Harp Zone. Sherry is the one who came up with the idea of portraying The Punisher from Marvel Comics as the punishing harpist who plays the harp in memory of his family who was killed by the mob years ago.