C.O.P.S. Empire Harps Opening Tomorrow


Berserko flying in his air speeder.

Berserko flying in his air speeder.

But first things first— after getting themselves down from the light post, LongArm and Hardtop use their com-link to report to Bulletproof and Mainframe about what happened at the Melody Tunes store.
LongArm: “..and right after we got ourselves out, the piano crashed into the brick wall, shattering into many pieces. If it weren’t for some quick thinking, we would’ve both been goners by now.”
Bulletproof: “Any leads?”
Hardtop: “Not unless you count those 2 crooks searching for Berserko as leads. They said they’re looking for Berserko to confront him over the issue of the stolen violin. ”
Mainframe: “What did they say?”
Hardtop: “They said he broke all of the violin’s strings while playing the instrument. I think he wanted the violin for himself, or perhaps Big Boss wanted the violin so he can make his nephew play it, but I doubt it. All we know is that Berserko somehow must’ve broken the strings on the violin. And Rock Krusher and Ms. Demeanor have been sent to steal some new strings to replace the strings Berserko broke.”
Bulletproof: “They could be heading back to their hideout with the strings at this moment. Head out and see if you can locate the two and follow them to their hideout. If they give you both a hard time, call for backup.”
Hardtop: “Roger, Chief. Over and out.”
Bulletproof: “Man, I can’t believe he did that to such a priceless violin.”
Mainframe: “With destructive crooks like Berserko around, not even a priceless violin is safe from their hands.”
Bulletproof: “No item is safe from crooked hands whether it’s priceless or some cheap imitation. Once they get their hands on it, anything goes.”
Mainframe: “That’s why we’re here, BP. To make sure no crook can get their hands on any item of interest. Oh, Look! There’s Empire Harps now.”
Way up Belle Avenue, across from the newly-opened Bank of the People is Empire Harps, the newest music store in town dedicated to sell nothing but harps coming from the world’s best harp makers such as Lyon & Healy, Camac, Salvi, Aoyama, Swanson, and W&W Venus. The 2 C.O.P.S. pull into the parking lot in front of the store to get a good look at it.
Bulletproof: “What an elegant place! Just look at all those harps lining up along the window from the inside. They’re beautiful.”
Mainframe: “I’ve never seen so many harps before in my entire life. It make you feel like going inside and trying out playing on one of them.”
Bulletproof: “Yes. But unfortunately we got no choice but to wait ’till tomorrow when the store opens for the very first time. Right now we gotta violin tragedy to prevent.
Mainframe: “In that case, care to go out and see if there’s any criminal activity happening around here, BP?”
Bulletproof:*nodding* Let’s do it.”
At once the 2 C.O.P.S. got out of the car to go look around. But suddenly, their com links began beeping out a distress signal.
Bulletproof: “Hold it. We’re getting another call. Bulletproof here.”
Bowser: “Bulletproof, this is Bowser, requesting backup at once! Driving down North Road, heading to the corner of South Avenue in hot pursuit of a potential burglar getting away with $230 worth of music books and sheets that was just robbed from the Fiddlin’ Fancy Violin Place several minutes ago. He’s armed. He’s dangerous. He’s Buttons McBoomBoom. *explosion and screams heard* And Mace wants his bazooka!”
Bulletproof: “Hang on, Bowser. We’re on our way. Looks like Empire Harps will have to wait. Let’s go!”
At once the 2 C.O.P.S. head back into the car and drive off to intercept Buttons and give their teammates a helping hand as night falls upon Empire City and a major battle begins.
In a desperate attempt to shake off the C.O.P.S., Buttons, riding in his air speeder, turns around and starts swooping down while firing away with his machine gun and chest rifles at the 3 C.O.P.S. who was forced to take cover behind a wrecked police car Buttons has just destroyed.
Buttons: “Take that, you flatfooted jerks!”
Bowser: *”dodging the bullets* You’ll never get us with those pop guns of yours, Buttons!”
Mace:*whining* Boy I wish I have my Teddy.”
Bowser: “Uh, aren’t you a bit too old for a teddy bear, Mace?”
Mace: “Not the Teddy I’m referring to, Bowser. “Teddy” is the name I gave to my bazooka. I left him at the precinct when we went out to investigate the violin robbery.”
Suddenly Buttons fires again.
Bowser: “MACE, DUCK!”
Mace: “Yeow!”
At once the 2 C.O.P.S. duck down to avoid enemy fire. More bullets ripped through the road and police vehicle.
Buttons: “Heh heh heh ha ha ha. What’s the matter, C.O.P.S.? Too scared to come out and face the fury of my belly blasters? Heh heh heh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”
Bowser: “We’re not scared one bit, Buttons!! *turning to Mace* “Teddy” may not be around to save us from McBoomBoom, but I know someone who can. Sick’em, Blitz!
Blitz: “Arf Arf Arf!
At once Blitz jumps out from behind the car and charge toward Buttons at full speed.
Buttons: “Beat it, you dumb, flea-bitten mutt! Scram!”
Buttons frantically fires another barrage of bullets from his arsenal. But Blitz skillfully dodge the bullets and leaps up to land on one of Buttons’ air speeder wings.
Buttons: “Hey! Get off my ship, you stupid dog!”
Buttons fires his chest guns once more, but Blitz dodges the onslaught of bullets, tricking Buttons into firing at the air speeder’s wing, severing it.
Buttons: “Dang! Tricked by that tin canned *starts flying out of control* CANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!”
The air speeder begins flying out of control. Blitz immediate jumps off and lands on the ground like a cat.
Mace: “He’s heading towards the junkyard.”
Bowser: “Come on!”
The 3 C.O.P.S. raced to the junkyard as Buttons whirls around and around until..
Down into a pile of garbage he goes.
Buttons: “Uhhhh…..”
Bowser: *petting Blitz* “Good boy, Blitz!”
Mace: “Now that’s what I call throwing out the garbage!”
Buttons:*crawling out of the pile* Ohh..Yuck! I hate smelly trash!”
Bowser: “Don’t worry, Buttons. We’ll get you out of there.”
Mace: “And into the nearest prison cell where you belong.” *slaps the cuffs on Buttons.*
Just then, Bulletproof and Mainframe arrives.
Mainframe:*getting out of the vehicle* Well, it looks like you guys don’t need our help after all.”
Bowser: “Nope. Thanks to Blitz, We all made it out ok.”
Blitz: “Arf Arf!”
Bulletproof: “Where’s the music, Buttons?”
Buttons: “In the bag behind the cockpit chair. Geez. You think Big Boss would’ve fair better playing the violin without music.”
Bowser: “If he willfully part with some tight-wad cash of his and buy a violin of his own, he would’ve enjoyed playing the violin with no trouble.”
Mace: “And have his own music lessons to help him learn how to play very well, too. Now on your feet and march up to the car.”
As Buttons is brought to the car to be put in, Hardtop and LongArm arrives to greet their team mates.
Hardtop:*getting out of his vehicle* Hi guys! We weren’t able to find Krusher and Ms. Demeanor, but we did find another person of interest. Look what we just caught trying to pull a heist at a sports store.”
HardTop opens the car door to reveal a familiar face
Bulletproof: “Well if it isn’t Louie The Plumber, Big Boss’ own handyman.”
Louie: “How was I to know that those big, huge, megaton dumbbells were stuck to the concrete floor?”
LongArm: “They were only for display, Louie. The store owners bolted it to the floor to prevent it from moving out of the display area and endangering the lives of the people shopping there.”
Louie: “Ha! I say this thing’s a bad mother— !”
Hardtop and LongArm: “Shut yo’ mouth!”
Louie: “But I’m talking about displays.”
Hardtop and LongArm: “Then we can use it— against you in the Court of Law!”
Bulletproof: “Where the judge is waiting for you and Buttons to come and face the music of justice and receive a great big sour note of prison time added to your criminal repertoire! Take em’ away, boys.”
LongArm: *seizing Buttons* “Ok, let’s go, Buttons. It’s time to meet the big man behind the big gavel at the big courthouse.”
Buttons growls as he is placed inside the car to be transferred alongside Louie to the courthouse where Judge Davis will eventually sentence them to become a member of a prison glee club band.
Mainframe: “Well there’s 2 less crooks to fiddle around with.”
Bulletproof: “Yes, but the violin is still not found and the ones who stole it are still at large. Which means we may have to go back out and find them again first thing tomorrow morning. *in his thoughts* “And take possession of an elegant harp for myself.”
*to be continued*


Sherry Konkus

Sherry Konkus lives in Owosso, MI. She is the proud owner of the Camac Athena EX Concert Grand Harp named "Grover" and Camac Mademoiselle named "Ernie." She's also the proud author of The Punisher Harp Zone. Sherry is the one who came up with the idea of portraying The Punisher from Marvel Comics as the punishing harpist who plays the harp in memory of his family who was killed by the mob years ago.